Why Is Being Too Nice Bad For You

Some people are good-hearted, filled with compassion and kindness. And that’s good. This planet needs more people who care about others and offer helping hand when needed. Being nice to your neighbour, colleague, or anyone you meet in your everyday life can add to your happiness. Though everything has its limits. Some people can be too good and nice to others, doing their best to please everyone, while neglecting their own needs and wishes. Being overly nice to others is linked to self-esteem and many try to cover their lack of belief in themselves by doing everything possible for others. And that can lead to a life of sadness and loneliness. Because when you do something for someone else and expect them to treat you the same way, it might not happen. So be nice only as a way of being, not because you expect something in return. Here are some reasons why being too nice to others can harm you.

You will forget to be kind to yourself


When you spend every ounce of your time and energy meeting the needs of everyone else, you will forget to be nice to yourself. Consequently, your basic needs might not be met, and you might end up suffering from burn out and feeling of not being appreciated.

Once you get into the habit of over-giving, feelings inside you tend to be neglected. This will push you to seek validation elsewhere. You only believe that your true value lies on other people’s opinions. However, once you back off from giving all your attention to others, you will learn how to seek validation from within you, which allows you to be more understanding and kind to yourself.


People could perceive you as weak

When people perceive you as weak, they can take advantage. This is what happens when you are too quick to put your needs aside so that you can attend to the needs of other people. Being seen as weak can lead to problematic relationships where one side keeps on giving and the other taking. When there is no balance it is only a question of time when the person who keeps on giving has nothing left to give.

You attract the wrong characters

The moment you become too nice, you might attract people who are manipulative and needy. These people are ready to jump at the first opportunity to take advantage of you since you have failed to establish any meaningful boundaries. Always remember that being nice to people is good, but as soon as you feel like being used or exploited reconsider your relationship with the person who makes you feel that way. It’s good to be nice to people who we feel well around, not the ones whose presence drains us of energy.

People will fail to trust you

When you become overly nice, people will think that you have ulterior motives. Most people will, therefore, tend to mistrust you. This will work against you when you are trying to build relationships.

Hypnotherapy and coaching can help people suffering from this kind of behaviour. Hypnotherapy attempts to reach out to the subconscious mind of a person while coaching tries to establish the wants of a person and their current situation. When combined together, these therapies can help individuals going through a wide range of conditions, including those who are being too nice to others, while neglecting their needs.


Although it is great to be good and nice, failing to establish boundaries and giving too much will limit your ability from attending to your own needs and those around you. Once you learn how to value yourself first, it becomes easier to value those around you.

If you want to better your life and discover new possibilities, get in touch and we can discuss how I can help you.